Time and Happenings

I haven't forgotten my blog.... I've just been busy.

Rest assured I haven't neglected these pages or those of you that take the time to read the uninteresting words I fill the space with. Life has taken hold of me and I have been a little bogged down with the events that have taken place.

So...hmm. What has happened to me since June 20th? Anything interesting? Here's what I have been up to and maybe some of it hits the interesting category and some of it doesn't but here it is just the same.

My son took an enrichment program through his school for approximately a month. He loved it and I loved seeing all of the things he made and learned about. He met some more friends. He's so outgoing and social. It's amazing to me that he has these characteristics because neither Shayne or I carry them that strongly. He's gotten so big I continue to be amazed at how fast time flies.

My daughter participated in summer camp for 2 weeks at her preschool...she loved it. Since the program has ended she asks almost daily if she has school the next day. I might add that she tends to have some separation anxiety and if I walk her in she latches onto me like another appendage. Her little arms wrap tightly around my leg and every attempt to shake her loose is unsuccessful. It's the sweetest thing and a little trying when I'm in a rush. But deep down I love it....her little way of saying she loves being with me so much she doesn't want me to go. So, I drive up to the gate one morning and she says, "Mommy, I want to walk in by myself." I smile with pride and say sure. I walk her to the gate and tell her I'll stand there until she is safely inside. She firmly states again that she doesn't want me to accompany her and I assure her I am letting her do it on her own. Wow! She did it. Wow, I did it. Again I have to say they grow up so FAST!

I participated in a stained glass class which I loved!! So be on the look out for some new creations. (I unfortunately haven't had a moment to breathe much less create)

I started a new job and so far I love it.

We are preparing to move...packing and moving slowly into our new place.

Savannah had her first hair cut. I just wanted her to get it trimmed but before we left she said, "No Mommy, I don't want snarls anymore. I want it all off."

(picture taken before haircut)



Our son turned 7!!!! Where does time go?


My mom was in the hospital again. She's okay, thank God.

I started taking Yoga again. Restorative. Peace. Grounded. Centering. Me.

Football started. I hate the rigorous schedule but my two favorite boys love it. Gavin absolutely loves that Shayne is his coach and vice verse.

Monday Shayne and I will celebrate 14 years together (8 married). I feel so blessed to have been able to share so much time with an amazing person who I love dearly. Although we are both Pisces and at times can be out of balance with one another some how we eventually find balance. We counteract one another and the bond we share is remarkable.

I don't know if it was interesting to you but it is my life and I think it is. It's not dull that's for sure.

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Frustration

So here I sit, frustrated and angry. Angry that I have been to SEVERAL medical "specialists" and had numerous doctor's visits and I am still undiagnosed. I can feel the frustration in my body....it's stirring and my muscles are a little tense as a result. And somewhere I know it is only going to get worse because next week I'm off to two more specialists. I have gotten used to them looking at me and then uttering the words...."We don't know" and then "Here you can take this pill and see if it helps you..." NO I don't want a pill! I don't want to flood my body with more chemicals, it already has enough from all of the crappy food on the market! I want an answer, I want something that points me to what the cause is so I can get on with my life and make the necessary changes to be healthy. Okay, years of medical school and years in practice and they still can't find what's wrong? Where did HOLISTIC medicine go? I want to know! I envy Eastern medicine that sits and listens to the whole body and analyzes the entire picture instead of viewing the problem with tunnel vision through a peep hole.

I try to be aware of what my body is telling me. It speaks and I don't always listen but I'm trying to get better. It's not fun to have your arms and legs go numb, have your muscles be in pain without doing anything, lose sleep because of pain, have extreme eye pain ~ so excruciating you can't move your eyes in any direction without wanting to cry or not being able to rub your eyes without wanting to scream because it hurts. It's not fun to have to look into your 3 year old eyes that are filled with love and admiration and say "sorry, mommy can't pick you up because my muscles hurt today" or "please get off my lap, your hurting my muscles". It is not fun to see your husband look powerless and see agony in his loving eyes because he can't help you. It's not fun to be tired at the end of the day or middle of the day knowing you really didn't do anything. It's not fun to know you have to work to make money and assist to support your family but are limited to what you can do because of your body, especially when you took for granted the capabilities you once had. The list goes on and on...

Okay, so now the bright side. It's not everyday... THANK GOD! I would go insane if it was. I know what makes my symptoms worse most of the time and other times they are unexplained. I have wonderful friends and family that are supportive. I have people that I have never met that check in with me from time to time to see how I am...THANKS SO MUCH, words could never express the gratitude I have to those of you that send me notes with positive thoughts, energy and wishes. When I think about the amazing love surrounding me, my soul weeps with joy in our connections to one another....connections to those we have met and those we have not but our energy has reached one another across the distance: near or far. I have met these incredible people that have enhanced my thirst for a holistic lifestyle and state of being. A state of well being in it's entirety...mind, body and soul.

I feel a little better.... It's amazing what writing in a journal will do. RELEASE....
Now I must go. Sit and breathe. Sit and re-center myself. Bring myself back and remember....

This does not define me. I am me because of me not because of this.

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