Thursday, March 5, 2015

A new path

My blog continues to feel neglected, yet here it is, always waiting my return.  If it was a person, I would hope that by now they would have moved on.  Then again if it was a person I wouldn't neglect it because I believe in treating others with love.  I make feeble promises to do better about writing more regularly, in order to share my thoughts and feelings with whoever takes the time to read it, but I continue to fail at it.  I admit that when I write I feel better even if there isn't an audience, so why do I continue to neglect my blog?

There are most likely many reasons contributing to this futile attempt to connect with a world on the other side of my computer.  Recently, I have given it some thought and tried to consider a few of the reasons, in an attempt at rectifying this problem.  So here it goes...

1)  It takes too long.  Ugh, what does that mean?  For a patient person that seems ridiculous.  As ridiculous as it sounds, I get discouraged because it does take me some time to collect my thoughts, translate the idea swirling in my head and then push them out for others to see.  Writing has always taken me a considerable amount of time, which at times is very frustrating.  This is one of those areas in my life that I wish came easier, took less time, and wasn't so "painful".  Don't get me wrong writing doesn't cause me "pain" but because it takes so long for me to get to the end result, the impatience with my process leads to frustration.  I don't like feeling rushed in any thing that I do, so I tend to not write at all, making the excuse that I don't have time.  Even now I catch myself frequently looking at the clock...

2)  A neglect for self.  The last couple of years have brought some life changing events.  These events have led to a domino affect of change.  Like most humans, I resist.  Change is hard.  Change is uncomfortable.  REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.  I remind myself, that change is needed...  for transformation, growth and evolution.  What if change didn't exist?  There wouldn't be the beauty of four incredibly different seasons, each alluring in itself.  Our life is the same.  I took a pledge to myself a long time ago that I would evolve, change and with each season of my life change to become beautiful in it's own way.  With that being said...the life changing events that have occurred in my life have really caused me to examine myself.  I am learning how much I neglect myself.  I am better than I was ten years ago, five years ago and even one year ago, but I have a ways to go.  Self-love, I have learned, is one of the hardest attributes I have had to change about myself.  What good is the love we give others if we don't love ourselves?  I've given myself love over the years, but not until recently, have I realized how much I neglect my own needs...  like writing in my journal, blog or doing something that will produce a result that feels good.  I'm learning to have a true love affair with myself and honestly it feels good.

3)  It is uncomfortable on many levels.  Exposing yourself is hard.  It opens us up for judgement and criticism.  VULNERABILITY.  Although, most people that are close to me, would say I share my vulnerabilities and that's not really a problem for me.  Even though I do it, it's still REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.  Exposing vulnerability whether it's practiced regularly or not, is still difficult.  And as I mentioned in #1...  it's uncomfortable to sit here for so long, thinking and typing.  Did I mention it takes me a REALLY long time to write?  That's uncomfortable to me as well.

4)  I can think of a zillion things to do and this gets put on the bottom of that list.  Obligations, committments, etc. seem to take over.  Some of them never really benefiting me in any way and when I think about it, I know the benefits of writing, far exceed most of the things on my to-do-list.

I guess I'll stop my excuses/reasons now.  I am going to make a small goal and commit to writing at least once per week.  Maybe then I will have better results.  Maybe.  It takes 3 weeks to change something so hopefully in three weeks this won't even be an issue....  In any event if you want to read my entries don't look for them on this blog.  Which leads me to this blog entry's title...  A NEW PATH.

I'm on a new path.  A path of self-love.  A path of committing to myself first then to others.  With that being said I have started a new blog.  My Whimsical Jewel's blog will only be used for my creative stuff...  like when I have sales in my ETSY shop, creating new products, art shows, events, sharing my creative process or I'm sharing other people's art.  As for my thoughts, journey of self-discovery, events about healing, and exploring healing through art and writing as well as other healing modalities, you can read all about it on my new blog:  Artfully Healing.

In fact here's my first blog entry, written today!  WOW two posts in one day...  guess I can skip next week. ;)  Just kidding...

Thanks for being a part of my journey.