A new path

My blog continues to feel neglected, yet here it is, always waiting my return.  If it was a person, I would hope that by now they would have moved on.  Then again if it was a person I wouldn't neglect it because I believe in treating others with love.  I make feeble promises to do better about writing more regularly, in order to share my thoughts and feelings with whoever takes the time to read it, but I continue to fail at it.  I admit that when I write I feel better even if there isn't an audience, so why do I continue to neglect my blog?

There are most likely many reasons contributing to this futile attempt to connect with a world on the other side of my computer.  Recently, I have given it some thought and tried to consider a few of the reasons, in an attempt at rectifying this problem.  So here it goes...

1)  It takes too long.  Ugh, what does that mean?  For a patient person that seems ridiculous.  As ridiculous as it sounds, I get discouraged because it does take me some time to collect my thoughts, translate the idea swirling in my head and then push them out for others to see.  Writing has always taken me a considerable amount of time, which at times is very frustrating.  This is one of those areas in my life that I wish came easier, took less time, and wasn't so "painful".  Don't get me wrong writing doesn't cause me "pain" but because it takes so long for me to get to the end result, the impatience with my process leads to frustration.  I don't like feeling rushed in any thing that I do, so I tend to not write at all, making the excuse that I don't have time.  Even now I catch myself frequently looking at the clock...

2)  A neglect for self.  The last couple of years have brought some life changing events.  These events have led to a domino affect of change.  Like most humans, I resist.  Change is hard.  Change is uncomfortable.  REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.  I remind myself, that change is needed...  for transformation, growth and evolution.  What if change didn't exist?  There wouldn't be the beauty of four incredibly different seasons, each alluring in itself.  Our life is the same.  I took a pledge to myself a long time ago that I would evolve, change and with each season of my life change to become beautiful in it's own way.  With that being said...the life changing events that have occurred in my life have really caused me to examine myself.  I am learning how much I neglect myself.  I am better than I was ten years ago, five years ago and even one year ago, but I have a ways to go.  Self-love, I have learned, is one of the hardest attributes I have had to change about myself.  What good is the love we give others if we don't love ourselves?  I've given myself love over the years, but not until recently, have I realized how much I neglect my own needs...  like writing in my journal, blog or doing something that will produce a result that feels good.  I'm learning to have a true love affair with myself and honestly it feels good.

3)  It is uncomfortable on many levels.  Exposing yourself is hard.  It opens us up for judgement and criticism.  VULNERABILITY.  Although, most people that are close to me, would say I share my vulnerabilities and that's not really a problem for me.  Even though I do it, it's still REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.  Exposing vulnerability whether it's practiced regularly or not, is still difficult.  And as I mentioned in #1...  it's uncomfortable to sit here for so long, thinking and typing.  Did I mention it takes me a REALLY long time to write?  That's uncomfortable to me as well.

4)  I can think of a zillion things to do and this gets put on the bottom of that list.  Obligations, committments, etc. seem to take over.  Some of them never really benefiting me in any way and when I think about it, I know the benefits of writing, far exceed most of the things on my to-do-list.

I guess I'll stop my excuses/reasons now.  I am going to make a small goal and commit to writing at least once per week.  Maybe then I will have better results.  Maybe.  It takes 3 weeks to change something so hopefully in three weeks this won't even be an issue....  In any event if you want to read my entries don't look for them on this blog.  Which leads me to this blog entry's title...  A NEW PATH.

I'm on a new path.  A path of self-love.  A path of committing to myself first then to others.  With that being said I have started a new blog.  My Whimsical Jewel's blog will only be used for my creative stuff...  like when I have sales in my ETSY shop, creating new products, art shows, events, sharing my creative process or I'm sharing other people's art.  As for my thoughts, journey of self-discovery, events about healing, and exploring healing through art and writing as well as other healing modalities, you can read all about it on my new blog:  Artfully Healing.

In fact here's my first blog entry, written today!  WOW two posts in one day...  guess I can skip next week. ;)  Just kidding...

http://artfullyhealing.blogspot.com/2015/03/beginning.html

Thanks for being a part of my journey.

Sometimes it doesn't make sense

We as human beings try to make sense out of everything. Even things that can't be explained. Events that don't make sense. Today I have battled with an event and events that don't make sense. Reality is so cruel to us sometimes. It doesn't mean to be. It's true, it's honest and it's in our face. We choose to deal with it and fight or walk away. I think there are definitely days that I walk away. Not because I've given up or because I don't know various events are real but because I know life keeps on moving whether we want it to or not. Another brutal blow by our foe, Reality.

I have always had a strong faith. Faith in things unseen and unexplained. But I also rely on science. I believe in science and let my faith carry me the rest of the way. The unexplained is where my friend, Faith, comes in. Some people in my life would like my faith to be as theirs but it's not and honestly it probably will never be and for me that's okay. I guess for them it's brutal because it's their foe, Reality. And maybe they believe in their friend, Faith, in order to deal with the reality. Who knows? Like I said it sometimes doesn't make sense.

Life has carried on over these last few months and I have walked and tried to flow with it. I've kept my head above the water, held high. I have been encouraged in my darkest hours of weakness by the blessings the universe has given me which are my friends, my family, hope, faith and love. Some days are harder than others and on these particular days I wrestle with the unexplained and what doesn't make sense even though I know it's a waste of my energy. Honestly, I don't know why I keep fighting this losing battle. I never win.


My longing for one more moment of time is stronger on some days than others. It's not that I don't want it everyday because I do. I suppose I push it down, keep moving and force myself to think about something else to escape the unbearable pain that comes from the thoughts and the longing of time. Moments that will never be captured whether it's with those we love that have left us or those that still remain. Missed opportunities. Opportunities all of us take for granted. So for this I say, "Carpe Diem." You never know when it will be your last.

This certainly applies to my brother. I miss him everyday. Some days it takes over and I have an unbearable pain. A hole where my heart is. Today was one of those days.

I'm sorry to those that read and follow my blog for my heart wrenching entries. I hope you understand my need for a release and it's here that my heart becomes unburdened.



On the brighter side of things....... SPRING HAS SPRUNG!


There is a promise of a new day. A brighter day. Longer days with more sun to warm our spirits. Life has so many blessings to offer and so much beauty around us. This week I have been enjoying the beautiful flowering trees, daffodils, birds in the sky and the warmth of the sun. I have been able to capture the beauty of nature with my camera and feel connected to it's magnificence. In this world we are so small, like an ant, but yet we like to think we are so big. We aren't, it's just our ego. Ego that takes over and gets in the way of everything. It can even get in the way of seeing beauty.


Sometimes it doesn't make sense and that's okay even if we don't want it to be. Life is beautiful even with the events that don't make sense. It doesn't mean that we miss those we have lost any less or that we have forgotten them. It just means that we are holding on to hope and realize it sometimes doesn't make sense.

Jon and I

Oh, How I miss you, Bro.

Letting go

Over the last few weeks I have been pondering this thought. A simple concept but at the same time so hard to do. I have given great thought to the magnitude of power those two words have and at the same time the power it has if you don't follow the concept.

So in an effort of letting go....yesterday is yesterday. Today is today. What happened a minute ago happened a minute ago, it can't be changed so let it go. There are too many other wonderous moments to be captured and if you are holding on to something that should be released, let go of it, you may and will miss the moment. It feels good to say goodbye. Take in a deep breath and remember life is too good and you may miss it if you are still holding on to yesterday.

I have learned: (and sometimes forget)


~You can't change people, only yourself.
~People are who they are and it's okay.
~It is what it is-no more, no less.
~Our thoughts are sometimes not our friend. :)
~Our words can damage someone so be careful with your tongue. (I'm still working on this one)
~Beauty happens every second all you have to do is open your eyes.
~Beauty radiates from within not outwardly.
~Most people are good, if you give them a chance.
~Smile when you feel like frowning.
~Be true to yourself so you can be true to others.
~Love yourself so someone else can love you.
~Give thanks for everything.
~Live like today is your last day because it may be.
~Make sure those around you know you love them, you can never tell them enough.
~Give a part of yourself to others they might not have anyone else.
~Be kind.
~Remember to have compassion.
~Say your sorry even if it wasn't your fault.
~Love all people.
~Be respectful of other's beliefs, opinions and views.
~It is better to live harmoniously than in discord.
~Say a prayer for others.

Copyright ~ Whimsical Jewels 2007

Evolution of self

Isn't it fun to watch others evolve into something greater than they are??? Transformation of self is so fun to watch and be a part of. It's amazing to be an outsider in an individuals life and watch them grow whether they realize what is happening or not. Of course it takes time and willingness to change, learn and grow and not everyone is ready for it.

Over the years I have had an amazing job involving giving individuals the tools to transform their lives as well as increasing their awareness of themselves and the world around them. I think people in general want to change others and make them see the world through their eyes and thoughts. Although it's really hard to resist those human urges I try my hardest to not allow my personal thoughts and feelings cloud my teachings or their individuality. I repeatedly tell myself that it is not my place to change them only give them the tools to change themselves if they want to. Expectations of others can lead to a clouded haze of disappointment.

With that being said although the paragraph above speaks of my professional life I practice (to the best of my ability) this in my personal life as well. I have been with my spouse for 13 years and it's been amazing to observe our growth as a couple and as individuals over the years. Of course it ebbs and flows but in the end it's all worth it and I am glad to be a part of this evolution process. Especially standing on the outside looking in.......