Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Sadness & Joy

I sit here with tears streaming down my face and an ache in my heart. A ache for home and all that surrounds it. The foundation of who I am has just left and I can't help but feel sad and happy all at once. Since I was a little girl I saw his wisdom and valued his teachings because I knew that they would build an empire of character. And now as an adult looking back I am filled with a world of gratitude because so many years ago early in the morning while sitting on a bus I listened and talked and the foundation of my house of character was being laid.

I am sad because I know I don't get the privilege of his company each day. I don't get to have cups of coffee, dinner or talks face to face. I don't get to watch him interact with my children. I don't get to witness a relationship build with my husband. I don't get to see him pass his wisdom and knowledge to my children on a regular basis. I don't get to see my children's love for this man while they wrap their tiny arms around his neck. And yet I know that it's the way it is because he's needed somewhere else right now. Someone else needs him much more than me and for that even though it hurts I'm okay.

I am happy because for a moment in time I got to sit at his feet once again and learn. I got to witness my children's love for this great figure and the admiration fill in their eyes. And even with admonishment I saw the love and respect that they had because he taught with gentleness. The same way I remembered as a child. I was able to witness a relationship start with my husband and for the first time in 13 years they were both able to see why I love them both so dearly. I am happy because I was able to have dinner, cups of coffee, talk, listen, learn, love and have his company even if it was a short time. With gratitude and love in my heart I cherish every minute that I had.

This great figure is my dad.

Dad ~ Thanks for your visit, your time, your love but most of all thanks for assisting in making me the woman I am today.

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